Wargames

Turns out if you want to perform my story in forensics or speech competitions, it needs to be published... so here you go!

WAR GAMES performed at Music Hall of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY: October 8, 2012. Theme: Fish Out of Water

 SPECIAL NOTE: This story was transcribed in the "interview theater" style, as Anna Deavere Smith transcribes her interviews for performance. So instead of using punctuation, I use a new line to denote that there's a little pause-- sometimes REALLY little. I've also noted audience reaction and movements where relevant.

A week into the school year

teaching third grade

I already know that I am in

over my head

it’s my first year at a new school

it’s a progressive private school

but I’m an experienced third grade teacher

I know third graders

they’re cuddly

they love stuffed animals and so do I

and this class is different

the girls are great

they’re actually running a stuffed animal hospital

so I can do that

but the boys

have a war game

and it’s not the kind of war game

I’m used--

little boys always play war

that’s clear

they don’t have just a war game

they have an army

it has a hierarchy

it has a real enemy

the enemy

is the homeschool kids

who share the park with us at recess (LAUGH)

and

when they’re not

in battle

which we’re desperately trying to stop

at recess

they’re preparing for battle

they’re training in school

seriously

it takes over our year.

when we line up for lunch--

when you line up for lunch and you’re in third grade

and I’m a third grade teacher I say

we don’t push

we don’t talk

I have to say we don’t shoot each other point blank in the forehead.

because that leads

with these guys

to strangulations and punching and I have to separate them

and at free time they tie each other to chairs with construction paper and practice interrogation techniques

which leads to strangling and punching and separation

they draw

battle strategies

and they use up

all my red markers

because the sprays of blood are so overwhelming (LAUGH)

now that’s one thing

free time is one thing

but

then it gets to class time

and I say this is what we’re gonna do

and the girls

go ahead and do it and the boys say

no

they’re busy doing tactics

ground tactics

and they don’t say no rebelliously

they say it

like patronizing

like why would we do

third grade when there’s a war on? (LAUGH)

I’m lost in all of this

I am a teddy bear kind of teacher

and I’m not a drill sergeant

I don’t know how to stop them

from constantly punching each other

and the school’s lost too

it’s a lovely school

we believe in cooperative discipline

we think that

kids should do what they’re interested in

except in this case

what they’re interested in is

taking the homeschoolers hostage. (LAUGH)

the parents try to help

they have their kids play their game

uh on the weekends

so that it doesn’t disrupt class

but it backfires

they show up on monday in fatigues and the whole thing starts all over again.

now

this is not a draft

this is

conscription

uh

you know

it’s not it’s not

um

involuntary

and they don’t let everyone into the army

there are a couple of boys who aren’t in the army

one of the boys

is Robert

Robert is younger than everyone else

um

and he

uh

has a baby face

and the other kids

the other guys talk about choke points and recon and

he wants to talk about

the most useful aspect of the new apple operating system (LAUGH)

which

I also kind of wanna talk about

it’s the space bar

where you

-- (LAUGH)

so

so

but he wants to be in the army

it’s the only game in town

it’s really most of the guys are doing this

one day I overhear this conversation where Robert says to Greg

who’s one of the generals

“can I

be in the army

today at recess”

and Greg says “sure

you can be a suicide bomber” (GASP)

Robert says “why”

and Greg says “cause everyone wants you to die.” (GASP)

I go straight over to Greg

and I say “you do not talk like that”

and he looks at me

and it’s like he’s looking through me

and he turns around and ignores me

I feel like I’m not spending my time with 9 year olds

I’m with mercenaries

and it’s getting to me

I mean when you spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week in something

you feel like it’s your reality

I’m crying after school

I start my countdown calendar for the end of the year

in March

I just want to be with kids I understand

again

finally it’s April

it’s recess

I’m on patrol (LAUGH)

We have to patrol

because even if the home schoolers aren’t there

they find

uh

hidden pockets in the park

where the teachers can’t see and just wail on each other

so we have to patrol the perimeter

so I’m doing that and I get to the sand pit

which is this deep pit you can’t really see inside unless you’re standing right there

and there’s Robert

my apple kid

kneeling

in the sand

execution style

holding his own hands behind his back

with his face in the sand

and three guys

high level military personnel

are starting to bury him

head first

in the sand.

and I snap.

I go hot

and cold

and I jump in the sand pit

and I haul out Robert

he’s got sand in his hair

he looks kind of dazed

I mean, he thinks he’s playing

and I tell the three guys “Go.”

and I line them up against a fence

out of sight of the other teachers (LAUGH)

 

and I got a rage in me that I have not had before

I haven’t seen anything like this from 9 year olds before

and I say “when you misbehave as third graders

I act like a third grade teacher

I call your parents

I give you time out

but when you do something like what you were about to do

you’re being cruel as people

and I don’t feel like a teacher” (LAUGH)

I don’t know where this is coming from

but I keep going

and I say

“and I don’t know what I do when I’m this mad as a teacher

not-

and I don’t feel like a teacher.”

and they look at me

and

I can see

they’re really listening for the first time

and I start to get a little into character

and I say “if I ever see that again

I don’t know what I’ll do

I just

don’t know.” (LAUGH)

There’s real fear now

I don’t feel like a teacher

I feel like a general

and then I say

“and by the way,

we never had this conversation.” (LAUGH)

now

I am a general who has gone rogue

and they’re looking at me like that

not like a teacher

and so for the first time I can look at them

and they don’t look like mercenaries

they look like little boys

I’m playing their game better than they do

and I

know that from now on this game is gonna change

my game is gonna change

you can’t be a teddy bear teacher when there is a war on (LAUGH)

and so I can stand back and be myself

and I stand back and I say the thing

that third grade teachers for time immemorial

have said to kids

to let them know

after they get in trouble

that it’s okay

that we still love them

and I stand back

and I’m myself again

except different (LAUGH)

and dangerous

and I say “go play.”

Thank you.